Thursday, August 28, 2008

God I'm lonely...

does that sound weird? It's true. Sometimes I feel just so damn lonely, like no one will ever love me. And that D.H, my last boyfriend, will actually be my last boyfriend. After he dumped me, I didn't leave my bed for 2 weeks. I just laid there smoking menthol cigarettes, drinking coffee (after making it a little Irish) and watched the Young and the Restless. Because I'm always feeling so young, yet old, and restless, yet lazy. I know that this is a weight loss blog, but I have to say, since my eating has become more normal, all the feelings that I've been hiding with food have been coming to the surface. Especially loneliness. especially night loneliness. I used to eat at night. A pizza, some oreo cookie ice cream, take-away (i'm so british) or whatever. anyway, now i'm not doing that some i'm alone with my thoughts and feelings. And my thoughts and feelings hurt. they really hurt. but somehow, i don't want to eat. I guess i'll just blog. I need to talk more about this, but not now. now it's enough to just tell you i'm lonely.

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