Sunday, November 30, 2008

It Started With the Bread...

It always starts with the bread for me. I was on my way home from shopping last night and I stopped at this cute little gourmet shop and bought a baguette. I don't know why I bought a baguette. I've never been able to handle bread. I guess I thought that I could. Or at least I wanted to try. I haven't binged since I started doing the weight loss hypnosis. That's over 3 months! And so I thought I could handle a piece of bread. No. It was hot. So hot. I started in the car. And by the time I got home, I had eaten half. And it was cold by that time. So I put it in the over and ate the rest of the baguette with butter. But that wasn't enough for me. I then made a pot of spaghetti and poured sauce on it and ate the whole thing. I ate like probably a half of a box of spaghetti which is I think like 4 servings technically. I was so full and bloated afterward, I just went to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling badly. But I'm trying to let it go. I don't know why I did it. Maybe i needed a boost. Maybe it just happens sometimes. I'm not going to let it kill me. I'm not going to let one day of a slip up undo all of my efforts. I'm going to eat sensibly today, listen to the Think and Shrink download on my ipod, try to bundle up and go for a run at some point, or maybe hit the gym. But I will not let this break me.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I'm grateful, thankful and I'm happy.

I love to blog. But I've been somewhat lackadaisical since my semester has gotten underway. I am going to change that. I'm going to make at least an hour each day to blog. That's my Thanksgiving resolution.
I weighed myself yesterday morning for the first time in weeks. I was so happy I nearly cried. 172 pounds. I have lost a grand total of 25 pounds since I started the Think and Shrink program. My clothes are pretty baggy, I feel strong, and I feel determined. Only 55 more pounds to go! I can't believe it. I feel amazing. Thanksgiving was good. I've been feeling pretty low since it ended with Al. I know that it was only a month long relationship, but even though it was so quick, I really thought that he was the one. Since he dumped me, I've been feeling so lonely, so miserable. Like I'll never find anyone who will ever love me again. My skinny roommate and her skinny boyfriend continue to rub it in my face, walking around the house hand-in-hand, passionate noises from her room constantly, and looking at each other like they're the only people in the world who exist. It makes me feel more lonely. I also found that Al was dating this other friend of my friend Erin. Already! I thought that he was mine. I thought we had something special and I was totally wrong.
But I'm not going to obsess about that right now. Right now I'm going to talk about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that Thanksgiving was awesome. My mom had about 30 people over! Me and my brother and sister, brother in law and nieces all got there on Wednesday and started cooking at 8am Wednesday morning. It was amazing. My nieces are so cute and being around them make me feel so blessed and happy. They are just amazing to watch. Everything is exciting to them. Children are such a blessing.
I ate lots of turkey and
brussels sprouts and also lots of cranberry sauce. Also I ate just a bit of pumpkin pie. But that's kind of it. I didn't over eat and I still ran around with my nieces and got lots of exercise. I'm so grateful for my amazing family. I'm also grateful for my cute, low rent house and for my incredibly sweet roommate and her nice boyfriend (even though they can be annoying), I'm grateful for the cats and for my health. My life is good. I must remember that as much as I can.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama, Oh boy!

I feel so proud and blessed to be part of this amazing day in American history. How amazing that we as a country united to create such change. I feel hopeful.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I voted!

There's no holiday that I love more than election day. And this year, there's something just so amazing about being a part of history. An African American man on one ticket, a woman on another. Wow! I'm just so in awe. We're really moving toward change in this country. I am excited.