Date number One. Oh my.

I'm actually on summer break. I can't believe it. My break only lasts a few weeks. But that's cool. I don't mind.

I went on my first official internet date! But. I wouldn't exactly call it a success. The boy, first off was the same height as me. Now. it's not really in my nature to be a judgmental or critical. But. here's the thing. I am barely five feet tall. And I would love to have my boyfriend be at least 5'2". I hope that this doesn't make me come off as a bitch. He wrote on his profile that he was 5'4". But... not so much.

But honestly, when I saw him, i thought he was cute. And I thought that I needed to get over it. So I went out with him. We went to a vegetarian restaurant, where he espoused the need completely disconnect oneself with anything that might minutely harm the enviornment. Which.. basically included eating at all. He drank water and ate nothing but a bowl of fruit. FOR DINNER!!!!!!!!
And he grilled the waitress about how the fruit was harvested, how they acquired the fruit, whether or not it was organic or local. Oh. My. God. It was mind boggling.
Now, here's the thing.

he actually criticized my weight.

He said that I didn't look this big in my picture. But he was generally kind.

Sparks? No. Will I go out with him again? Never.

But as a first experience. Well. At least I've started.

A little extra padding

I wasn't sure how to describe myself physically on my online profile.  there's not a whole lot of good choices. You can't say "who cares?" or "fat and proud." It's all quite annoying. I've been agonizing over my profile. I don't know quite how to put it all out there. I've never really online dated before. I'm a pretty private person. I once went out on a date with a guy that I met on craigslist, but it was because I bought his futon. Then he helped me christen it. 

Trying to Come Back

It's summer. It's beautiful. It's time for me to forget winter and go forward. 

Tonight, I put my profile on match.com. I'm nervous but excited. 

I haven't gone out in months. I'm all alone on a Saturday night and I'm over it.

On the upside, my weight has changed dramatically. Since last August, when I began this journey, 

I've lost 44 pounds. That puts me at 154 pounds, which puts my BMI at just a bit over 30! Which means that if I lose just a few more pounds, I will no longer be put in the "clinically obese" category. Which will be really fucking nice when I go to the doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!!!!

And I love that I've been totally healthy the whole time. I've slipped up with some binges, and some nights of too much alcohol and not enough food. But for the most part, I've been really attuned to the needs of my body. And I feel better physically than I ever have. 

My summer goals are: 

1.)Run 10 miles. 

2.)Go out on 10 dates

3.)Save up, fit into, and buy a pair of designer jeans! Don't know if that will happen... but I would love to fit into a pair of True Religion or Seven Jeans. They are so cool. Maybe by August?  

4.)Move into a new place. 

5.)Get a job.